Is there anyone out there who feels the way I do about travel? Surely I’m not alone in this. There must be a few other people who, no matter how alluring the prospect, find themselves thinking: I’d rather stay at home.
‘Are you excited?’ friends ask me when I tell them I have to go to New Zealand next Saturday for ten days — that’s my phrase: I HAVE to go away, as if I’ve been dragooned into the situation. ‘No,’ I tell them, ‘I’d rather stay at home.’ ‘You’ll enjoy it when you get there,’ they say gamely.
Maybe.
Already the burn back’s begun – what if someone slips a bag of dope into my luggage before I go through customs? Most worrying of all is the trauma my cats are going to go through. (Note to Cat Lovers—Not: I’ve owned more dogs in my lifetime than cats, but the fence around my current home’s no good, so it’s cats these days.)
I tell myself that travel will be good for me. But I can’t seem to convince me.
The part I hate most is not the plane trip — I don’t mind the idea of dying if it’s quick. It’s the airport. I picture myself wandering lost forever around the endless corridors they always seem to have, like the character in the old Kingston Trio song, ‘But did he ever return? No, he never returned, And his fate is still unlearned …’
The fact that the Gold Coast airport isn’t big, and the cheap, pedal-driven airline I’ve chosen to fly with is little more than a hangar with no corridors doesn’t seem to make any difference. So there weren’t any corridors last time. There could be corridors this time. Well, there could be …
I’ve got a kindly, live-in babysitter for the cats; I couldn’t have gone otherwise. But they’ll still be traumatised because I hardly ever go anywhere, and they’re not used to it. I imagine the old cat living up the paper bark ti tree in the back yard the whole time, drinking dew off the leaves, sneaking in at night to snatch a few mouthfuls of food as death from malnutrition approaches. And I know the young cat will pine — when I went to Brisbane for five days in 2010, my formerly handsome, upstanding cat was a wreck when I returned.
Still, there’s nothing for it but to go. My ticket’s paid, my bags stand ready to be packed. I’m leaving on a jet plane and, like the song says, I hate to go.
Some people love to travel.
Not me.
Is anyone else out there a home body?
Danielle de Valera, Australian author, editor & manuscript assessor since 1992
http://www.ecademy.com/account.php?userid=danielledevalera
@ de_valera
Danielle de Valera 
My sister in-law is talking about traveling, not the relatively short distance across the pond. Thing is, she doesn’t want to go alone and would like us to come with. There are a couple of problems, our dog and the mega lack of funds. Were that different we’d go in a flash and worry about the swollen legs and seized muscles down my back all the way to my arse, later. If she went alone we’d worry, that she’d get lost in the corridors, miss a flight connection, leave her passport at the hotel, lose a gold earring, go the wrong way, speak too loudly because she’s nervous, never experience something special that’s off the beaten track. 😉
Enjoy every moment of your stay in NZ. I hope you make a trip to the stunning South Island.
Thanks so much for good wishes, Louise. A few years back I was almost in for one of those long flights, but then my son and his wife ended up with 2 kids and a mortgage – what Zorba the Greek called ‘the full catastrophe,’ and that put paid to that idea.
We’re only in the North island – but one good thing: my father came from Palmerston North, I’ll be able to see the country he was born in.
Clever idea to put your worst case scenario into words so that it doesn’t gnaw at you while you are away from your cats. Having brought your adversary into the open you can now slay it – deprive it of its power – by going on your journey. Oh, and no one gets to wander in corridors unknown. Security arrangements ensure that you will be herded from each point on your passage through the terminal to the next. Again, what a clever strategy: to imagine the worst so that as the real thing unfolds any minor issue of potential concern is seen for what it is – chickenfeed compared with what might have happened. You’re a much smarter traveler than you give yourself credit for. But wait, why am I writing as though you actually mean what you say, when I know that what you have done is draw on your imminent departure from the routine of your life to write a cracker of a story. Good rowing Argonauts! Um, on second thoughts, rowing is not what you want to be doing on your way to NZ. So go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember how much cat food is to be had in a fortnight… Haere rä
Thanks so much for those words of comfort re travel, Paul. I staggered home yesterday with mountains of cat food, and I’ve finished writing the cat novella for Deidre, the kind friend who’s babysitting the beasts.
Once I’m on the plane I’ll be right, I just go through hell beforehand 🙂
I would like to travel around the world to see different cultures and try new food, but generally I’m a homebody too.
I’d rather sit at home and write or generally do whatever I want without worrying about other people. Somethings are just overrated in my opinion.
Hope you did enjoy the trip though.
Thanks, Frank, I did enjoy it a lot – except for the airport experience coming back into Australia.
For a blow by blow of my highly coloured, tongue-in-cheek account of the NZ trip, see the post following, entitled: ANY TAKERS FOR THE PERFORMING SHEEP?
Best to you,
Danielle